My mind is a whirlwind. It’s constantly on the go. Moving, thinking, processing, talking, very rarely still. I’m normally a ‘busy’ person, but this is a bit extreme, even for me.
That’s the problem.
Boyo and I have both noticed it, the change that comes over a person when they study.
Your mind is suddenly more active than before. You find it harder to get to sleep at night. You wake earlier, you wake more often, you sleep less deeply. It’s a vicious circle that in some ways never ends. Or at least not until you stop studying. When we finish a semester, we sleep better. When we start, we sleep worse. Ugh.
But I have an additional symptom. My entire system seems to speed up. It’s as if the stimulation of study makes me go into hyperdrive. You know, speed-of-light stuff. Millenium Falcon flashing past you in a blur of light.
Some days, I feel like I need to apologise to everyone I meet for talking their ears off. I just can’t seem to help it. With study comes more words. I guess I have to find so many for essays and online classes, that my brain just starts coming up with them in oodles all the time. I’m hoping it will settle down, but so far (we are in week five), it hasn’t.
I’m spending almost two whole days alone each week, studying, not using my 20,000 words a day or whatever it is. Do you understand why I’m struggling not to talk too much!? Plus we’re actually not seeing people as much even on the days we have available. Ironically, I did think this might happen because I’m studying. It just didn’t occur to me that it might be because other people are too busy. Hmmm.
But that’s not all...
I watch more tv when I study. Quite a lot more. Because I need help winding down before bed and tv seems to help.
I eat more. Just overall, but I’ve noticed I tend to eat more rubbish too. Chocolate. Nibbling and snacking. A bit here, a bit there.
Study changes so many things. Things I didn’t necessarily expect, or remember. I wonder, is it changing me? Or are we simply seeing another side of the me that has always been here?