Totally Love my Life

I totally love my life!
There is no doubt my stress levels are way too high. But in all honestly, I love my life. My miracle life, that’s what it is. My miracle baby. Studying, that’s another miracle. Having spent four years living with chronic fatigue, the very fact that I have a child is a miracle. That I have studied while pregnant and with a baby is definitely miraculous. I just shouldn’t have been able to. If someone told me even two years ago that this would be my life, I probably would have laughed in derision. Yeah, right, whatever. The girl who frequently got ‘lost’ somewhere in a sentence, and couldn’t string a few words together properly? Study? Do a DEGREE? A busy, high energy, demanding, teaching degree? Sure. In my dreams maybe.

Have a baby? My heart’s desire. But I also feared whether I could carry a baby. I’d had an early miscarriage, and that experience was gut-wrenchingly destroying. Both the being pregnant (mind fog, exhaustion, how on earth would I have coped with a full pregnancy?!?), and then losing our baby. God had reassured me that he would give me one. I just never thought it would be NOW. In the middle of a degree. And that I’d have to keep on studying, and find myself able to do it physically, emotionally, mentally. But I have. It’s a miracle. A miracle I try to remind myself of when the workload gets too much, the baby too cranky and life feels overwhelming.

I love my life. I am fulfilling two major dreams: to have a child, and to have a career.

I love where we live. God told me he was ‘preparing a city for us’ in the year between when we felt to come back to NZ from Australia and when we actually moved. And he has. Our church is just right for us. Our unit came available at just the right time. It’s ideal. Walkway just out the door. Shops 15minutes up the road (walking!). My parents 20minutes walk away. Somewhere to dry washing! Affordable (a huge blessing!).
I love being able to walk places, to not need the car. Many of my friends live near me, and I’m trying to get out with the stroller and visit more.
I love our quiet, peaceful neighbourhood.
I love the wildlife. Tuis come and visit, our back neighbour has chooks.
I love the life this offers my son. I love that he gets to bond with his daddy, that they see each other often and we eat dinner together. I love Munchy helping me with the shopping and the washing and the wormfarm. I love that he gets to see his grandparents regularly (Boyo’s parents are only an hour’s drive away).

Even though life has not turned out at all how I imagined or hoped it would, somehow it still has managed to end up with elements of my heart’s desires within it:
Connectedness, involvement, and belonging with our local church
Growing friendships
Activation of my passion to alleviate extreme poverty
An amazing son
The ability to study, and work towards a career I am really passionate and excited about
Improving connection and relationship with Boyo
The beach

Being able to be outside, to go for relaxing and soul-restoring walks on a daily basis

The blossoms along our walkway!

Being able to garden and grow some of our own food

One of Munchkin's early gardening forays!  He did enjoy it, despite the serious expression.

Even though my life can be very busy, and with that very stressful, there is really very little I would change if given the chance.
A lighter study load?
A home of our own (so my chookies could live here instead of at my parents)
More income
A bath (I so miss my Friday soak-the-week-away baths!)
That’s about it. There is so much to be grateful for in my life just as it is. And the things that we don’t have (like a home of our own, and that bath), well, I feel like they will come, and I can wait.


I         Love          My           Life.


Amy
Linking in with Paisley Jade's "Things I'm Loving"!

Stop-Loss

I've set a stop-loss for the Challenge.  In case you're wondering, a stop-loss is basically a safety mechanism.  A pull-the-plug point.  At which point in a venture will you decide that enough is enough and it is time to give up and move on, that you've lost too much time, money, or sleep over something that is not returning you what you hoped?  You might apply a stop-loss to negotiations over buying a new house (if we can't get it for $xxxxxx then we will walk away because the house is not worth more than that, or we can't pay for more than that).  You might use one for a business venture (if the business doesn't make us money by such-and-such a date, we will fold it up and do something else).  Any area of our lives can have stop-losses applied to it.  In fact, we often do this unconsciously.  For instance, how bad does a meal have to be before you stop eating it?  For me, if food tastes burnt, I won't eat.  The experience is not worth it for me.  If it's a bit bland or salty though, usually I will just keep eating it.

So, stop-loss.  I have decided that I need to protect and look after myself while doing the Challenge.  I am in full semester mode (which means I have to study throughout the Challenge).  Hopefully I will get enough work done this week that I don't need to get up at 5am to study.  5am study means I eat two breakfasts!  Not really an option on the Challenge.  I also have a 15month old son, who has been teething on and off lately.  We are praying the teeth stay still for a couple of weeks! 

I've decided that if I feel physically unwell to the point I can't function, I will eat more.  But I won't stop doing the Challenge.  I will go to my cupboard and pull out some more food, yes.  But Challenge-type food.  Only stuff that is the same as what I will already be eating on the Challenge.  So my stop-loss is that if I am unwell, I can eat more, but not different.  Sound okay?

Amy

Breaking the Rules

You might have read that the Live Below the Line Challenge comes with its own set of special rules so we don't cheat.  Because it is meant to give us at least some idea of the real issues faced by real people living in really extreme poverty and we can't experience that if we keep making ourselves concessions.
This said, I am breaking the rules.
One rule.
I am using our garden produce.

Reasons?
#1 - I had been wanting to do a challenge like this since I was pregnant with Munchkin, but managed to convince myself that it was too hard and I couldn't do it on my own.  My original challenge was going to be living on $2US a day and using garden produce.  I was also going to allow some oil, salt, and sauces from my cupboard in my original ideas.  I'm sticking to the garden produce being allowed but not the others.

#2 - I want to look at food security.  Being a gardener, and interested in food production, supply, and security I want to look at how having access to food you have grown yourself can increase your nutrition, food security, and overall wellbeing.  This Challenge is a good opportunity to do so.  We have not planted or planned anything for the Challenge.  It is just what happens to be there from our autumn plantings.  Greens and herbs.  I will be keeping a daily record of what I eat from the garden and how I feel that affects my wellbeing throughout the Challenge.  Boyo has turned up his nose at utilising the garden.  It doesn't really go with his meal plan (which you will read about during Challenge week)!

This week I will be actively clearing our fridge by degrees.  No fresh food allowed in there by Monday week, other than what Munchkin is eating!  It seems silly to waste food by doing a food challenge, so I will likely soup all remaining veges on Saturday and freeze what doesn't get eaten by Sunday night.  That way I also remove as much temptation as possible.  Of course there is still the pantry to consider.  Grin.

I finished tweaking my menu plan for the Challenge yesterday (I think! It has had a few revisions already!).  Lots of weighing, calculation, and muttering to myself.  But I'm not going to show you the final product until Challenge week! 

Amy

All Crocheted Out

People say that a picture is worth a thousand words.  So here you go:

Yes, I have FINISHED THE BLANKET!  I've even written a letter to go with it (complete with a few photos), and popped in a couple of knitted hats.  Tomorrow I will get a couple of tubes of toothpaste from my parents to add to the stash and will then be all ready to drop off the blanket on Tuesday afternoon.  I've been feeling a bit unwell the past two days, so crocheting has taken priority over study while I wait out whatever bug is trying to attack me!  Will be doing a big study blitz on the weekend though as Munchkin is having a sleepover at his grandparents.  His mummy is hoping to get quite a lot of assignment work done!

I can't tell you the relief in knowing I've finished one thing in the pile of things to do.  Knowing that the blanket will be able to ship out on time with all the others from around New Zealand leaves me feeling really pleased.  Proud of myself in fact.  I'm really still not quite sure how I managed to finish a whole blanket this past year.  I didn't really expect to.  After all, I was still finishing off the previous year's one a couple of months after the cut off last year.  It is a completely different matter finishing a blanket when you are a student with a baby to just working part or full time like I used to.  But I've done it, and it looks beautiful.  The only thing I wasn't happy with is that my wool ran out about 5cm from the end of the last strip!!!  So I had to use a different colour!  Grr.  (See it, bottom right photo above?). 

I just wish I could be there when they unload a truck of blankets at an orphanage in the Ukraine or Moldovia or wherever they are going this year.  Wish I could see joy light up the children's faces as they each get their blanket, as they stroke their hands over the soft wool and drink in the bright and cheery colours.  Priceless.  And even thinking about their joy, and the hours of warmth this blanket will provide both body and soul leaves me with the certainty that the hours of knitting and crocheting are definitely worth it.  Every single minute.  And yes, I will be doing it again!

Amy

Boyo Talks About Live Below the Line

Hi folks, here's a few thoughts from my wonderful husband about our up-and-coming challenge!

"Hi All,


Amy has asked me to do a little thing for her blog regarding my taking up the challenge to ‘live below the line’ for a week.

I am not too sure what I will write here, so you’ll have to bear with me on this one ;op

When we were out for a walk this afternoon, she asked me what my motivation was. And to put it bluntly, it is the money that we can raise.


I am a very competitive person (that is one of my strengths), so I am trying to raise more than she is. My aim would be to raise at least our goal for the challenge, on my own. Our goal is to raise $500.


When we set this goal, neither of us had any idea as to how exactly we were going to raise this money. So for us, that was a lot of money to expect.


For Amy, she seems to think that if we don’t make our goal, then oh well, her main aim is to raise awareness of the extreme poverty. But because I am so competitive, I really would be disappointed if we don’t (combined), manage to raise that amount.


The more I talk to people, the more I think we can raise. I work in a supermarket, and have had a lot of support from my co-workers there. So it would be disappointing to then not get much money from them all.

They are all a little shocked that we are trying to live off so little. But in my mind, it really doesn’t bother me.

I already have my menu set out (I haven’t purchased the items yet, cause it is still a few weeks away). But my plan is to eat wheat biscuits for breakfast and dinner (I currently already have Weetbix for breakfast, so I know what to expect in that area), and then I will be having sandwiches for lunch (as in, plain bread). As a teenager, I used to regularly eat plain bread, so another thing that really doesn’t bother me. I was originally just going to have plain bread the entire time. But I think that having Wheat Biscuits would be a little more healthy for me.

I am also considering maybe purchasing a small pack of biscuits as a treat. But am not too sure how much bread I will be eating, so will wait until near the end of the challenge and see if I have enough money left, and whether I can be bothered.

One of my goals is to try having as much money left over as possible, which I will then donate to our chosen cause.


We will also be donating all the money that we save during the process. As in, we have a weekly budget for our groceries. So we have divided that up in to 7, to work out what we spend per day. From there, we have worked out how much we will be saving by not eating our normal food, and the difference we will be donating to our charity of choice.


I think it has worked out to be roughly $40 (give or take).

I challenge every one who reads this, to go without something for one single day, and donate that money (for example, try going without that coffee, and donate the $4 to 5 that it would have cost, to these people who are living in extreme poverty instead). It may seem like only a small amount to you, as an individual, but could make a HUGE difference to some one who genuinely needs it.

Just think about how lucky we are to live in such a beautiful country. And be thankful that you weren’t one of the many who really don’t have much chance in life, because they happened to be born in to extreme poverty (out of no choice of their own).

Well, I think I have written enough here. Better sign off and let Amy post this. Hopefully, this sees a few more donations coming in. Remember, the link is:

www.fundraise.livebelowtheline.co.nz/soonarmy"

Stressed

My stress levels have been creeping up of late. Okay, that’s an outright lie. Skyrocketing. There’s a ball in my stomach. I wondered if writing about it might help me clarify just what is going on…there seems to be a myriad of things ‘going on’ in my life at present and I’m not sure what is contributing the most to how stressed I feel. Which makes it hard knowing what I might be able to do about it.

Study. Well, how am I meant to manage this horrendous workload? I have classmates, doing a 50% load like me, studying 35+ hours a week. Imagine doing full-time! Oh, that’s right. I don’t have to imagine. I did it last year. Certainly don’t want to repeat it. I have about, hmmm, 20 hours to study each week. Maybe. At a stretch. If everything goes right, I’m really disciplined, get up early and don’t have any naps during the day. There’s the literature review for one paper. When am I meant to read those, let alone write a report on them? And the electronic game and pop-up book in the other paper. Tried getting articles for reference material today through online databases. Do you think I can get the darn thing to download articles!!!???? Have to call Massey Library on Monday. Was meant to have finished writing that part by the end of today! Grrr. Wasted ages. Don’t have ages to waste. And how on earth would I know how to make an electronic game??! Let alone one that has meaningful links to Social Studies. Ahhhhhh. I am sure I can come up with something, it is just a matter of whether I can come up with it before the due date! Brain space is at a premium here, people.

Teething. I hate teething. And I REALLY hate teething when there are NO TEETH to show for it! Two terrible, terrible nights this week (read: Munchkin and Mummy spent several hours on the couch or in the chair, Mummy still has a funny throat from the last time we were both got sick a month ago, and it is getting worse again due to the lack of sleep! Mummy had to postpone early morning study for two mornings as her eyes just wouldn’t stay open…so now she is behind…just two days, that’s all it takes!). And after two terrible nights? Still no tooth. It still sits there, just under the surface, as it has done for the past several months. Ugh.

The inevitable, never ending pile of washing and dishes. It is ironic, here I am going out and cleaning other people’s houses to spotless perfection. Dust is not allowed. Sinks are spotless and shiny clean. And my house? My handbasin is quietly growing mould. I am not joking. I would photograph it, but it is such an embarrassment. It is only a 10 minute job, I know, but I haven’t got there yet. Maybe Munchkin can help?!?

People at church have been asking for my help. Well meaning, lovely friends. I have to keep saying no. Finally, we are part of a group of people who actually want our involvement, ask for it even, and I feel like I’m saying “no” left, right, and centre. Stressful. On a positive note, at least I have learnt how to say “no.” But it is still hard not to feel like I’m letting them down, and harder still when it is something I could really enjoy being involved in. But I’ve squeezed in more than I should have already. Live Below the Line in particular. Yup, that’s a bit stressful…mostly when I think about what I will be eating and whether I will still be needing to work on these huge assignments. The thing is, even knowing how busy I am now, I wouldn’t go back and decide not to do it. I’ve been passionate about helping the destitute poor for like, forever. And if I keep delaying action until I have lots of time, or energy, or money, well it just won’t ever happen. I decided that I need to do something. Now. No excuses. “They” say that we make time for the things that are important to us. Either that or we just amble through life stuck in silly habits that don’t build on what is important. So I have decided to make time. Of course the reality is much harder than I realised.

Trying to get hold of people. There are a significant few people in my life who I consider important, special people, that I’ve lately been having trouble getting hold of, let alone having a decent conversation with. Now, I know they are all busy. They are all dealing with their own curve balls in this game called life. I know that. But seriously, it’s not like I have all the time in the world to be chasing round after people. Frustrating.

Isolated. That’s how I felt this afternoon. The day was wet and windy. Not a good combination. Our proposed walk to my parent’s (to collect the jeans they were kindly drying/shrinking in their drier) was postponed. No car today, Boyo is at work. So Munchkin and I were inside for the afternoon.

Fortunately, my day didn’t end there. We got out for a short walk with the backpack. Didn’t get rained on either. Score! Then my mum dropped off my jeans and stayed to chat for a few minutes. Bliss. Thanks Mum!!!

So I’m stressed. Who isn’t?! But then does the average stressed person just want to retreat to their kitchen, bake up a chocolate storm, and eat the ENTIRE lot ALL BY HERSELF? Not sharing ANY?! Hmm. Perhaps I need help. Grin. Well, I do at least feel a little more even-keel simply by stopping and thinking about WHY I feel stressed. Even though I haven’t been able to DO anything about it, at least I can look here and think, “Well, you can expect to be finding life a bit busy just now. But it won’t stay this way. The assignments have due dates. The Challenge will finish. People will get back in touch. Teeth might even appear!” Anyone fancy some fudge, or chocolate, or pudding of any sort?! My shout. You just have to get here and be prepared to sit and talk. Oh, and could you do an assignment or two while you visit? I wish.  Sigh.

Amy

Crocheting the Blanket

The squares are all in neat rows.  And now the rows are gradually taking shape, with some unrequested assistance from a small helper (I later had to untangle my ball of wool.  Several times.  But it kept him happy and involved, so never mind!).  It is rather bulky, 56 squares of woolen blanket.  Currently it resides on my bed, but I will have to relocate it back onto my desk again before I can go to bed.  Then work out where to put it in the morning so I can get my computer open to study!  Ah, but I do so love seeing the vibrant colours, the neat rows, the tidy stitching, and my heart feels good knowing that a child will smile with delight when they see it.  They will rub their fingers over the warm, soft wool, and know that someone thought of them.

Amy