"I was going to breastfeed my baby. This was not negotiable; I didn’t have plan A, B, or C. I knew how good breast milk is for babies (and Mummy too for that matter), and I wanted my baby to have it. I figured there was no reason I couldn’t or shouldn’t do it. After all, I’d frequently heard that ‘size doesn’t matter.’
Well, firstly, I’d like to state that attitude is not everything. Sometimes people can have a blasé attitude, and still manage something admirably well (I know some women who approach breastfeeding with a more ‘take it or leave it’ approach and end up ‘taking to it’ like a duck to water). On the other hand, sometimes you can have the best intentions and the biggest willpower combined with the greatest dreams and still end up falling short of your hopes. This has happened to me. I discovered myth number two: size really does matter. Apparently it is not that I am small busted that is the issue per say, but more that I don’t have much breast tissue (which is what makes the milk). Plus I have a long baby boy who has trouble getting latched on my rather small frame. Put those 2 factors together and you end up with a very hungry baby and a Mummy who feels like she’s let the side down.
So I’m coming to terms with the fact that I physically can’t breastfeed my baby to give him everything he needs. With the best willpower in the world, I simply can’t conjure milk out of thin air. And believe me, I have tried. I’ve used homeopathic remedies, medication, breast pump, nipple shield, prayer, diet and I forget what else to try and increase production. Hasn’t really worked. The result is that Munchkin is currently getting about 10-15% of his needs from breast milk, and the rest from goats milk formula. This current regime will last only as long as I can continue the breastfeeding fight…which by current indicators may only be another week or so (yup, it was). But I figure that every little bit helps.
|Munchkin, two or three days old and having formula in a syringe!|
|Come on Daddy! I might be laughing, but I sure am HUNGRY!|
|Bonding with Daddy.|
|Out and about! He wouldn't be able to do this straight-legged now!|